![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanctuaryofroseandchaliceHere I am, back from the dead again. I know I go on these long bursts of hiatus on this blog, only because I allow burnout, despair, and apparent depression to hold me hostage. Today's entry is another vent piece where I need to type out another issue I'm dealing with at this point in my life. So please bear with me as I compose this rant for all to see. I'll try to come up with more interesting topics in the future, and also try to enter something here on a more regular basis.
Something that has been on my mind as of late is my obsessive interest in religion, philosophy, occultism, psychology, and all things spiritual. These in and of themselves are not bad things, usually. Done properly they enable people to be curious and learn differing and various ways to honor the Divine, honor Nature, and live honorable and virtuous lives. However, I'm left wondering about my own approach to these matters. Have I turned this otherwise healthy preoccupation into an unhealthy means to "Escape From the Planet of the Apes," a pseudo-Gnostic attempt to escape the Black Iron Prison of mundane, worldly life? Call me a misanthropic pessimist, but it does seem to me that the world (of Man, of Bread and Circuses, of the Technopathocracy, etc.) is hellbent on slamming head-on into the brick wall of Reality and its limitations as we descend further and further into the Kali Yuga, the Age of Saturn, or whatever one wishes to call the hard times to come (and in some cases has already arrived). How do I know when my desire to pursue Theosis or Sanctification within esoteric and sacramental Christianity and Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel within the Western Mystery Tradition has turned into unhealthy escapism, that I'm doing (as T.S. Eliot would put it) the right thing for the wrong reasons?
Granted, with the recognition that my present life circumstances are unsatisfactory, with a miserable job that I hate, and no clear vision on how to get out, escapisim would be a natural response. But that escapism needs to become a springboard for finding creative and constructive solutions for improving one's lot in life. Contemplation, meditation, and invoking the Divine and its angelic/eudaimonic intermediaries can certainly improve the quality of one's life. However, it needs to be accompanied with deliberate, pragmatic application to life itself, or else it's like wishing to win the lottery without buying a single lotto ticket. And lately, I've been guilty of this nonconstructive escapism.
I've recently come across a phrase I first read years ago, but have since forgotten. That is the "Path of the Hearth Fire." For those unfamiliar with this term (first coined I believe by the British occultist Dion Fortune) it is the path whereby the student puts aside, temporarily or permanently depending on the circumstance, occult studies (and perhaps other specialized forms of intense spiritual practice) in order to establish a firm foundation here in the material realm of Malkuth. We all have commitments to our families, our jobs, our communities, and all the other responsibilities of life. Bills and debts have to be paid, children need to be raised, and work needs to be done in order to secure a roof over our heads, clothes on our bodies, and food in our bellies. This is not to say that all forms of faith, magic, and applied virtue-ethics need to be abandoned, far from it. What does need to occur is finding that balance of temperance or moderation between spiritual practice and mundane pragmatism. The world has too many would-be-adepts living in their parent's basement with no means or desire to pursue self-sufficiency, responsibility, and independence. Trust me, I know the type all too well. While I am eternally grateful for all the good things in my life I have been strangely complacent, some would say comfortable, with the unsatisfactory parts, like the aforementioned job that makes my life miserable. I've used it to feel justified in my self-righteousness and contempt of the world. I've allowed myself to be miserable and worked to exhaustion in order to play the victim game with no one but myself.
So what's the solution to my dilemma? Honestly the details remain obscured to me, but in general I definitely need to approach what free time I have more constructively. For one thing that means less recreational screentime, less afternoon naps, and more commitment to finding a new means of employment and learning whatever life skills are needed to fulfill the Path of the Hearth Fire, of finding the appropriate balance of spirit and matter in my life. I wish there was a step-by-step instruction manual on how to do this, but half the adventure is taking this one step at a time, not knowing where the next step will take me.
This post has been very self-reflective, and I hope anyone still reading this has been patient with me. There's nothing here I didn't already know deep down in my heart of hearts, even if my conscious mind wasn't aware of it, and I don't know if it was of any value to my readers, save that if they're in a similar situation that they too may reflect on their own lot in life and whether it gives them satisfaction. Advice and encouragement is always welcome. Pray for me in whatever way is appropriate for you, and if need be, I will return the favor. May the Divine, by whatever name and form you dear reader know it by, bless and protect you.
Sincerely,
Sanctuary of the Rose and Chalice
Something that has been on my mind as of late is my obsessive interest in religion, philosophy, occultism, psychology, and all things spiritual. These in and of themselves are not bad things, usually. Done properly they enable people to be curious and learn differing and various ways to honor the Divine, honor Nature, and live honorable and virtuous lives. However, I'm left wondering about my own approach to these matters. Have I turned this otherwise healthy preoccupation into an unhealthy means to "Escape From the Planet of the Apes," a pseudo-Gnostic attempt to escape the Black Iron Prison of mundane, worldly life? Call me a misanthropic pessimist, but it does seem to me that the world (of Man, of Bread and Circuses, of the Technopathocracy, etc.) is hellbent on slamming head-on into the brick wall of Reality and its limitations as we descend further and further into the Kali Yuga, the Age of Saturn, or whatever one wishes to call the hard times to come (and in some cases has already arrived). How do I know when my desire to pursue Theosis or Sanctification within esoteric and sacramental Christianity and Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel within the Western Mystery Tradition has turned into unhealthy escapism, that I'm doing (as T.S. Eliot would put it) the right thing for the wrong reasons?
Granted, with the recognition that my present life circumstances are unsatisfactory, with a miserable job that I hate, and no clear vision on how to get out, escapisim would be a natural response. But that escapism needs to become a springboard for finding creative and constructive solutions for improving one's lot in life. Contemplation, meditation, and invoking the Divine and its angelic/eudaimonic intermediaries can certainly improve the quality of one's life. However, it needs to be accompanied with deliberate, pragmatic application to life itself, or else it's like wishing to win the lottery without buying a single lotto ticket. And lately, I've been guilty of this nonconstructive escapism.
I've recently come across a phrase I first read years ago, but have since forgotten. That is the "Path of the Hearth Fire." For those unfamiliar with this term (first coined I believe by the British occultist Dion Fortune) it is the path whereby the student puts aside, temporarily or permanently depending on the circumstance, occult studies (and perhaps other specialized forms of intense spiritual practice) in order to establish a firm foundation here in the material realm of Malkuth. We all have commitments to our families, our jobs, our communities, and all the other responsibilities of life. Bills and debts have to be paid, children need to be raised, and work needs to be done in order to secure a roof over our heads, clothes on our bodies, and food in our bellies. This is not to say that all forms of faith, magic, and applied virtue-ethics need to be abandoned, far from it. What does need to occur is finding that balance of temperance or moderation between spiritual practice and mundane pragmatism. The world has too many would-be-adepts living in their parent's basement with no means or desire to pursue self-sufficiency, responsibility, and independence. Trust me, I know the type all too well. While I am eternally grateful for all the good things in my life I have been strangely complacent, some would say comfortable, with the unsatisfactory parts, like the aforementioned job that makes my life miserable. I've used it to feel justified in my self-righteousness and contempt of the world. I've allowed myself to be miserable and worked to exhaustion in order to play the victim game with no one but myself.
So what's the solution to my dilemma? Honestly the details remain obscured to me, but in general I definitely need to approach what free time I have more constructively. For one thing that means less recreational screentime, less afternoon naps, and more commitment to finding a new means of employment and learning whatever life skills are needed to fulfill the Path of the Hearth Fire, of finding the appropriate balance of spirit and matter in my life. I wish there was a step-by-step instruction manual on how to do this, but half the adventure is taking this one step at a time, not knowing where the next step will take me.
This post has been very self-reflective, and I hope anyone still reading this has been patient with me. There's nothing here I didn't already know deep down in my heart of hearts, even if my conscious mind wasn't aware of it, and I don't know if it was of any value to my readers, save that if they're in a similar situation that they too may reflect on their own lot in life and whether it gives them satisfaction. Advice and encouragement is always welcome. Pray for me in whatever way is appropriate for you, and if need be, I will return the favor. May the Divine, by whatever name and form you dear reader know it by, bless and protect you.
Sincerely,
Sanctuary of the Rose and Chalice
no subject
Date: 2023-12-08 09:01 pm (UTC)I, too, have recently halted my occult (magical) pursuits (albeit for different reasons). My assessment of the entirety of esoteric operations—and, in reality, any pursuit—is that they can be measured by one thing alone: charity. What are their (practical) fruits? What do they produce, here in the mundane world? If an inner solace, then there is merit to them. If only a haughtiness, a prideful disdain for one's neighbors and disconnection (I'm speaking from personal experience, as I've been there myself), then maybe we need to reevaluate...just who is being operated on, in such a case, and who is doing the operating...and to what end?
I offer a prayer for your solace and well-being in this Advent season, and that you experience the Divine Light in your innermost heart.
Fra' Lupo