SanctuaryofRoseandChalice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sanctuaryofroseandchalice) wrote2023-05-24 01:03 pm
sanctuaryofroseandchalice) wrote2023-05-24 01:03 pm
Entry tags:
Anglicanism, Romanticism, and Discernment
Hello. I'm not dead yet.
Seriously, I've been meaning to post more frequently on this blog, but through a combination of burnout and inertia I haven't done so. Recently a few related topics have been percolating in my mind and I'm writing this post as a means to formulate my thoughts and hopefully receive some feedback on them.
For as far as I can remember I have always identified with Celtic and English forms of Christianity, eventually becoming baptized into the Church as an Anglican/Episcopalian at the age of 24. In the years since as I grew in my faith, I started to imagine myself as a priest in that tradition, of one day becoming ordained. Even as I entered into the discernment process for ordination within the Episcopal Church (TEC) I kept asking myself whether this was a true calling from God, or if I called myself into some romanticized daydream of escapism. Truth be told, upon reflection I think both of these statements are simultaneously true. I feel genuinely called to a sacramental ministry, yet now I don't think it would take the conventional form of what is expected of ministry.
Confused? So am I honestly. First of all, it must be said that I am no longer in active discernment with the TEC, having come to the conclusion that I would be an unhappy priest miserable at his job. Most mainstream denominations these days seem to expect their clergy to also be social workers or political activists. Additionally, it saddens me that many mainstream churches are heavily invested in kowtowing the sociopolitical agenda of the chattering classes, which I want nothing to do with. While I think there's some value to what can be called the "active ministry" I frankly do not see myself in that capacity, at all. I greatly prefer the quasi-monastic "contemplative ministry" of first and foremost offering the sacraments, especially the Mass, on behalf of those around me, and of committing myself to a rule of life of prayer, work, study, and service. I see myself most clearly as a hermit-priest performing the Mass and reciting the Office at a home oratory or chapel, either alone or with my household. As a domestic church at the least, or a small mission at most, discretely providing spiritual direction and a pastoral guidance to those interested, and those in need. I also see myself ministering to those on the fringes of society, such as Romantics, Goths and Punks, multi-traditionalists such as Christian Druids or those in mixed faith families, and those who feel unwelcome by the self-designated "respectable" people one finds in typical church settings (we all know the kind).
And now we turn to the Romantic aspect of my spiritual life. I've made the conclusion that what I really desire is less the establishment "Church of England" of the chattering classes and want to participate in the "Church of Merrie England." To put it in another way, my personal take on Anglicanism revolves far less around Canterbury and more revolves around Glastonbury (interpret that how you will). I want a deeply cosmological Christianity rooted in time and place, that celebrates sacred time and local culture. Where ancestral wisdom is transformed as "baptized paganism." Much like my friend Michael at the Center for Sophiological Studies I want to live in in Robert Herrick's parish, and I want Thomas Morton's Merrymount along with the Havelock Work of the Mirfield Fathers and Whare Ra. I want to celebrate the "English Use" of the Sarum Missal in so far as both the Book of Common Prayer and the Parson's Handbook will allow. Sadly, I don't think I can realize this vision within any mainstream church. If I stay within the TEC I'd have to look for what few pockets of orthodoxy and tradition remain. Or, I may need to turn elsewhere, looking towards either Continuing Anglicanism (e.g. the Anglican Catholic Church, the Province of Christ the King, etc.) or the Independent Sacramental Movement (e.g. the Holy Celtic Church International). I have my reservations with all these options, each having their own litany of pros and cons, all demanding some form of sacrifice. If, God willing, I am to one day be ordained it will happen in God's time, not my own. I also need to spend more time in the refiner's fire before I'm ready to pursue active discernment again. God knows I'm not perfect, but I need to get my house in order before I receive Holy Orders.
I'll end this rant here, to meditate upon what I've said, and hopefully I'll one day hear that still, small voice calling me towards where I need to go. May the blessings of God the Boundless Mystery be upon you all, and please pray for me in whatever way is appropriate to you. Go in peace.
Seriously, I've been meaning to post more frequently on this blog, but through a combination of burnout and inertia I haven't done so. Recently a few related topics have been percolating in my mind and I'm writing this post as a means to formulate my thoughts and hopefully receive some feedback on them.
For as far as I can remember I have always identified with Celtic and English forms of Christianity, eventually becoming baptized into the Church as an Anglican/Episcopalian at the age of 24. In the years since as I grew in my faith, I started to imagine myself as a priest in that tradition, of one day becoming ordained. Even as I entered into the discernment process for ordination within the Episcopal Church (TEC) I kept asking myself whether this was a true calling from God, or if I called myself into some romanticized daydream of escapism. Truth be told, upon reflection I think both of these statements are simultaneously true. I feel genuinely called to a sacramental ministry, yet now I don't think it would take the conventional form of what is expected of ministry.
Confused? So am I honestly. First of all, it must be said that I am no longer in active discernment with the TEC, having come to the conclusion that I would be an unhappy priest miserable at his job. Most mainstream denominations these days seem to expect their clergy to also be social workers or political activists. Additionally, it saddens me that many mainstream churches are heavily invested in kowtowing the sociopolitical agenda of the chattering classes, which I want nothing to do with. While I think there's some value to what can be called the "active ministry" I frankly do not see myself in that capacity, at all. I greatly prefer the quasi-monastic "contemplative ministry" of first and foremost offering the sacraments, especially the Mass, on behalf of those around me, and of committing myself to a rule of life of prayer, work, study, and service. I see myself most clearly as a hermit-priest performing the Mass and reciting the Office at a home oratory or chapel, either alone or with my household. As a domestic church at the least, or a small mission at most, discretely providing spiritual direction and a pastoral guidance to those interested, and those in need. I also see myself ministering to those on the fringes of society, such as Romantics, Goths and Punks, multi-traditionalists such as Christian Druids or those in mixed faith families, and those who feel unwelcome by the self-designated "respectable" people one finds in typical church settings (we all know the kind).
And now we turn to the Romantic aspect of my spiritual life. I've made the conclusion that what I really desire is less the establishment "Church of England" of the chattering classes and want to participate in the "Church of Merrie England." To put it in another way, my personal take on Anglicanism revolves far less around Canterbury and more revolves around Glastonbury (interpret that how you will). I want a deeply cosmological Christianity rooted in time and place, that celebrates sacred time and local culture. Where ancestral wisdom is transformed as "baptized paganism." Much like my friend Michael at the Center for Sophiological Studies I want to live in in Robert Herrick's parish, and I want Thomas Morton's Merrymount along with the Havelock Work of the Mirfield Fathers and Whare Ra. I want to celebrate the "English Use" of the Sarum Missal in so far as both the Book of Common Prayer and the Parson's Handbook will allow. Sadly, I don't think I can realize this vision within any mainstream church. If I stay within the TEC I'd have to look for what few pockets of orthodoxy and tradition remain. Or, I may need to turn elsewhere, looking towards either Continuing Anglicanism (e.g. the Anglican Catholic Church, the Province of Christ the King, etc.) or the Independent Sacramental Movement (e.g. the Holy Celtic Church International). I have my reservations with all these options, each having their own litany of pros and cons, all demanding some form of sacrifice. If, God willing, I am to one day be ordained it will happen in God's time, not my own. I also need to spend more time in the refiner's fire before I'm ready to pursue active discernment again. God knows I'm not perfect, but I need to get my house in order before I receive Holy Orders.
I'll end this rant here, to meditate upon what I've said, and hopefully I'll one day hear that still, small voice calling me towards where I need to go. May the blessings of God the Boundless Mystery be upon you all, and please pray for me in whatever way is appropriate to you. Go in peace.